Random Thoughts

1. Apparently Audrina liked all the attention that she got from her naked photo shoot so she went and did another photo shoot.  Unfortunatly not naked this time. (TMZ)

2. Matt Leinart Getting Down with 18 year olds.   Not sure why this is a big story?  I mean is it illegal to give beer to hot coeds and fuck the shit out of them in the hot tub?        Sure that may be against the law in MA, but definitely not in Arizona. (The Dirty)

3. Wrestmania Mishaps –    A pyrotechnics display went haywire, sending hot cables flying in to the crowd.  This was made even more spooky by the fact that the Undertaker’s music was playing in the background.  Luckily UB wasn’t hurt.

4. Andy Rodderick got engaged to some SI Swimsuit Slut continuing his streak for  pulling  the most ass for somebody who has never really done anything.   Is there any doubt his fiancee thinks he’s a lot better than he really is? (People)

WAUSAU, Wis. - Cars lining the street. A house full of young people. A keg and drinking games inside. Police thought they had an underage boozing party on their hands. But though they made dozens of teens take breath tests, none tested positive for alcohol. That's because the keg contained root beer. The party was held by a high school student who wanted to show that teens don't always drink alcohol at their parties. It has gained fame on YouTube.com. The root-beer kegger was "to kind of make fun of the school," he said. "They assumed there was beer in the cups. We just wanted to have some root beer in red cups and just make it look like a party, but there actually wasn't any alcohol."  Nearly 90 breath tests were done, and officers even searched locked rooms for hiding teens.

 Congratulations kid!   Way to stick it to the school and the police department!   You really showed them.  Although call me crazy, but you know what probably would have been more fun than this and even got the school more pissed off?   Maybe putting real beer in the red cups and actually having a real party?   Ever think of that?       Because while it’s a fine and dandy to prove some lame ass point, the last time I checked chicks don’t get drunk and put out on soda pop.    Well maybe Sunkist they do, but definitely not root beer.    As a side note I love how it only took the cops 90 breath tests to figure out the kids weren’t drinking.    That's some big time police work there.

Introducing Britney from UConn.   To say that Britney will be a force to be reckoned with come tourney time would be one of the great understatements of our generations.    She has all the makings of a #1 seed.   And speaking of the tournament Round #2 of the Smokeshow brackets is officially underway.  Round II voting will end Friday at noon….

As a reminder we need more smokeshow nominations! We've had an alarming slowdown lately which makes me think the future of the Smokeshow of the Day may be in jeopardy. Do your part and find us hot chicks who are willing to be exploited. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here For More Pics of Britney

It’s time for our first formal announcement regarding our 1980’s Ipodapalooza.  This will be the best 80’s party in the history of the earth.   The soundtrack will be picked out be our resident 1980’s expert Pete Manzo although we are accepting nominations for song requests.  Please send them along with your RSVP to 1980@barstoolsports.com.    People are encouraged to come dressed in 80’s gear but you don’t have to be dressed that way to get in.  Me, I’ll be in Zupaz pants for sure.   The Party will feature the following;

- Barstool Girls in 80's Gear

- 80's Attire

- All 80's Music

- Classic 1980's Videos

- 1980's Fashion Show

When - Thursday April 17th

Where: Ned Devines

Time: 8pm

LONDON -- Formula One's governing body is keeping its distance from sexual allegations in a British tabloid newspaper about its president, Max Mosley. The News of the World reported in a front page story that FIA president Mosley, 67, had taken part in a "sadomasochistic orgy" with five prostitutes that reportedly involved Nazi role-playing. According to a story posted by the London-based Times Online on Monday, Mosley and others "re-enacted a concentration camp scene in which he played the role of both guard and inmate." British media reports said Mosley paid 2,500 British pounds, which is a little less than $5,000, according to Monday's conversion rates.

I could mock Max Mosley for his choices here. Or go off on some diatribe asking "What the hell is it with all these rich guys paying for hookers?" but I won't. Frankly I can see where the guy had no other choice. Have you ever tried getting your wife or girlfriend to go along with the Nazi Concentration Camp Sadomasochistic Orgy sex game? Good luck getting that to fly. It would cost a lot more than five grand in flowers, Carribean vacations and diamond tennis bracelets, I can promise you that. So really if Nazi Death Camps happen to be your thing... if you prefer striped pajamas to Victoria's Secret, if you thought Meryl Streep was hot in "Sophie's Choice," or if you've worn out your DVD of "Schindler's Lust"... well then I'd say hookers are the only way to go. I'm surprised about Mosley though. He doesn't look like the pro-Nazi type. (Uncle Buck brought this to my attention. I think he found the story searching Nazi Sex sites on the web.)

A Manhattan madam who was arraigned this week on money laundering and prostitution charges allegedly has New York Rangers star Sean Avery in her little black book, according to the New York Daily News. The Daily News reported that it called the number and Avery did, in fact, answer. When told the paper had found his information in Davis' files, he responded, "For some reason, I highly doubt that." In a later statement to the paper, Avery denied using Davis' services.

This proves a theory I've been batting around for a couple of years now. That hockey is no longer one of what we've always referred to as "the four major sports." How can it be when one of their star players, playing for one of the Original Six, in the world's biggest media market, has to pay for sex? this whole "four major sports" thing is a relic leftover from the days when the media in the Northeast dominated the sports news and hockey was relevant in NY, Chicago and Boston. But that ship has long since sailed. If a star player can't pull unbelievable tail anytime he wants, that means you're in a minor sport, period. Do you think Sergio Garcia has to pay for hookers? Or Dale Erhhardt, Jr.? I wouldn't know Taylor Twellman if he was standing in front of me kicking a ball, but I guarantee you there are enough soccer fans to keep him in groupies until the MLS folds. It doesn't matter that Avery used to boink Elisha Cuthbert. Like the NHL, she's way past her prime.

PS. I can't really criticize Avery's reaction to the call from the Daily News. What do you do when they say they got the number from your madam and you've already answered the phone? I think I probably would've gone for pretending I had a bad cell. Or faked my own death maybe.

The Celtics thrashed the New Orleans Hornets Friday night in their last significant regular season game. I was lucky enough to attend and while the Garden crowd was mediocre in terms of enthusiasm, it excelled in terms of hot chicks. I’m talking all ages. I also want to give credit to balcony section 313 for the Paul Pierce MVP chant. I really don’t understand how N.O. is sitting atop the West. Chris Paul is going to be a great player, but he hasn’t impressed me, at least in his games against the Celtics. The C’s ended the weekend with a blowout win over the Heat. I watched about 5 minutes of this game before switching back to Davidson/Kansas. Could Pat Riley be a bigger douche? Imagine if your boss sent you the following memo: Because you all suck so bad, I won’t be around the office because I need to find your replacements. While I’m gone, remember to bust your ass for the company. Are you serious? It’s amazing the Heat didn’t lose by 40. I love that picture of KG laughing in Mark Blount’s face.

Chuck - Red's Army

The only other first pitch that I can remember that remotely challenges this one was Doc Rivers at Fenway, but I couldn't find video of it anywhere. And apparently I forgot about this one from the Cincinnati Mayor

ALTOONA, Pennsylvania (AP) — While Democrats increasingly worry about winning ugly, Barack Obama was losing beautifully at a bowling lane in this central Pennsylvania city.  Obama dropped by the bowling lanes as part of his new emphasis on low-key, face-to-face campaigning during a six-day bus tour through the state.  And it was clear from the start that Obama was way out of his league, certainly any bowling league.The crowd of regulars pressed in to take pictures, get autographs, and rib him on his poor skills. Obama did improve, nearly getting a strike in one frame, and in the seventh, picking up a spare, giving him a score of 37.  "I was terrible," Obama laughed as he shook hands with a crowd that had gathered outside the building once word spread he was there.

We are not a political group here at Barstool Sports.    We don’t endorse candidates and we don’t talk politics.  BUT this story can’t be ignored.   Obama bowled a 37?     That’s impossible!     Even Manzo can bowl a 37!   That’s got to be the worst male score ever recorded in the history of earth.    There is just NO way I can vote for this guy now.   I mean how can you trust anybody who is this bad at anything in life?    And if you don’t think that enemies of this country would be emboldened by having a guy who can only bowl a 37 in the oval office than you are nuts!    I can just see Osama Bin Laden sitting around a campfire screaming “HE ONLY BOWLED A 37!THE AMERICANS ARE WEAK!"     Bottom-line is I just can’t respect a guy who can’t break 40 and neither will the rest of the world.    I mean McCain can’t even walk right and Hillary is a chick and I bet they both can smash a 37.

- Thanks to Cam for the tip

All I got to say about this video is that I'd be kind of pissed if I was the guy crushing the cans with my shoulder blades and my buddy waved his hand at the crowd at the end trying to take some credit. Dude, anybody can stick the cans in his back. Don't try and steal the glory.

Kalb.com - An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table.  Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.  Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police.  According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.  He is free on a $20,000 bond.

Man, it must totally suck to be this picnic table.    I mean there is nothing it can do when it sees Art Price Junior coming.  It’s not like it can run or scream or anything.   It just has to sit there and get its brains fucked out.   Regardless let this story be a lesson for all the kids out there.   If you’re going to bang the family picnic table than do it in the privacy of  your own home as opposed to on the front lawn where nosy neighbors can make a video of it and send it to the cops.   

YUMA, AZ-- A pair of ArizonaWesternCollegestudent-athletes found themselves in jail and a Matadors assistant football coach lost his job amid sexual allegations following a series of assaults that occurred Monday evening at the AWC residence halls.

AWC sophomore basketball player Katrina Johnson, 20, and former Matador All-American volleyball player Patty Paniagua, 19, were arrested Tuesday and booked into the Yuma County Detention Center for assault and disorderly conduct, according to Michelle Sims, AWC public relations and marketing director.

During the investigation of the incident by AWC officials, it was also discovered that AWC assistant football coach David Slaughter had engaged in a sexual relationship with one of the student-athletes arrested in the assault.

Slaughter, who was in his first year as the wide receivers coach, admitted the relationship with the student-athlete when confronted by the AWC administration and immediately offered his resignation to the school on Tuesday.

First of all, I’m 90% sure “Arizona Western” is one of those fake colleges that Hustler visits for their Oscar nominated “Real College Girls” documentaries/pornos.  (By the way I love the part in those videos when the girls show their college ID, so you know it’s real!)  And speaking of, I liked the ruling by the judge that ORDERED the 2 chicks who just fought to spend the night in the clink together.  I mean if that doesn’t have co-ed lesbian hate-fuck written all over it I don’t know what does.  And as far as the wide receiver coach - he probably said to himself, before banging a student enrolled in his school, “I’m the fucking wide-receiver coach at Arizona Western.  Until we get a playoff system in college football, this is probably the best I’m going to do.”  

Much more Sarita here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com