Kalb.com - An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table.  Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.  Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police.  According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.  He is free on a $20,000 bond.

Man, it must totally suck to be this picnic table.    I mean there is nothing it can do when it sees Art Price Junior coming.  It’s not like it can run or scream or anything.   It just has to sit there and get its brains fucked out.   Regardless let this story be a lesson for all the kids out there.   If you’re going to bang the family picnic table than do it in the privacy of  your own home as opposed to on the front lawn where nosy neighbors can make a video of it and send it to the cops.