Random Thoughts

Today is proof God loves Halloween and Barstool Sports. How else can you explain the perfect weather and the fact it's a Friday? You can't. So throw on your costume and we'll see you tonight at Jose Mac's! Should be fun.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: Among Ben Roethlisberger's stated concerns about playing the Washington Redskins is their cheerleaders. That's what he said, anyway. "I'm not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they're really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That's just not good," Roethlisberger said yesterday. The practice by the Redskins cheerleaders was so legendary around the league that when commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a memo to all teams last year banning the practice some dubbed the "Redskins Rule." "The couple of preseason games I've played down there, we've seen it," Roethlisberger said. And it's a distraction? "It can be, let's be truthful. They've done it before. I've heard a rumor that they're not allowed to do it anymore."

I have to confess I'm dumbfounded by this story. I've read it through a dozen times and I honestly don't know what to make of it. Is Roethlisberger being a real man here or not? Is he saying the cheerleaders are an annoyance or a distraction? Believe me, I'm loathe to question the manhood of any guy who's boinked Natalie Gulbis and Missy Peregrym. But isn't he being kind of a bitch about this? Granted you could make the case that Big Ben is so All Man that when he sees these chicks that his mating instinct kicks in and he can't focus on reading zone blitzes, but isn't it a sign of a Real Man that he can focus on his job in the face of unwithering attacks of hot female sexuality? JFK got more ass than a public toilet, but that didn't stop him from staring down the Commies. Robert Goulet never messed up a Vegas show because chorus girls were throwing themselves at him left and right. No one has more smoking hot women all up in his grill than Uncle Buck and it never stopped him from delivering the goods on a Wake Up With. Time to man up, Ben.

Click for the answer

Bring it!

See this is the thing I love about Gus Johnson. He brings his A game every time he puts on a head set. It doesn't matter if it's the NCAA tournament, a regular season NBA game or the MMA , Gus always makes you feel like you're watching history. And that's the mark of true greatness.

RAVENNA, Mich. (WZZM) - Teammates in his bowling league think after rolling a perfect 300 game Don Doane's heart just gave out.  "You get nervous shooting a 300," says teammate Todd Place. "The pressure keeps building," says bowling alley owner Jim Nutt.  Minutes after achieving the life long goal of a perfect game the 62 year old bowler collapsed and died at Ravenna Bowl in Ravenna. "Don just collapsed," says alley owner Nutt. " At first we thought he just fainted." "Then when I rolled him over I realized it wasn't good," says teammate Place. The teammates say he was giving a high-five minutes before. They tried to revive him but Doane never spoke another word. He died of what was apparently a massive heart attack "He looked fine, reached across the table and gave me a high-five and he fell over," says Place.  "It was like a book, a final chapter," says Place. "He threw his 300 game with all of his friends, gave each other high-fives and it's like the story ended. He died with a smile on his face." "Don will be a legend," says Nutt. 'It's something that will never be forgotten as long as people bowl here." Ravenna Bowl is planning a memorial ceremony for Doan's' wife Linda and son Chad.

People have probably heard me say in the past I don’t like to blog about stories where people die because there in no humor in that.   Well this story is different.    Because this story isn’t sad or depressing.   This isn’t about getting burned alive or getting eaten by a shark or suffocating in a pile of shit.  Nope, this is a celebration of life.    Don Doane died doing what he loved to do.   In fact some may say that this is the perfect way to die. (no pun intended)  Sure it would be great to have sex and then die right afterwards, but I’d argue this is better.    You wait your whole life to shoot the perfect game.  You finally do it.  You take a sip of beer, slap your buddies five and call it a lifetime.   Nothing left to prove here on this earth.   God Bless Don Doane and his perfect game as it will now live on forever.   And something tells me that’s exactly how he wanted it.

PS - Somebody who commented on this article had a great line. They said from now on whenever they hear thunder they'll just assume it's Don Doane trying to roll another perfect game. Amen to that.

- Thanks to Kevin for the story

Reader Email

El Prez,

This is coming from the office that broke the story on the man, the myth, the legend Matt Nerney.  We had out annual Halloween party today and one of our workers decided to take a quote out of your playbook and “cue the duck boats” thought you would find this amusing….

Dennis

Hands down this is the best Halloween costume of a year. In fact, it's so good I will give everybody involved free "Cue the Duckboats" shirts because that's how we roll here at the Stool. (19.99 shipping and handling per shirt not included) Seriously if I ever get fired at Barstool Sports, I totally want to work for this company. First Nerney and now this. Cleary this company gets it.

PS - You know Nerney slept right through the parade...

Even in the absence of Tom Brady, the Patriots are 5-2 and sitting in first place. So naturally the pundits are all crediting Bill Belichick for pulling off perhaps the greatest coaching job of his illustrious career. Oh, wait... No they're not. They've spent most of the first half of the season questioning his judgment (if not his sanity) for going with Matt Cassel as his backup quarterback. And they've responded to the two Patriots losses by rolling out his Bradyless career stats and claiming this proves the QB has made the coach, not the other way around.

Even with Peyton Manning, the Colts are 3-4 and four games out of first place. So naturally the pundits are all over Tony Dungy, saying that maybe now he's being exposed as a vastly overrated coach. Oh, wait... No they're not. They've got the Excuse Factory working all three shifts to maximum capacity, pointing out that the Colts have been so "decimated" by injuries this season that no coach, not even St. Anthony of Indianapolis, could overcome them.

But have they? We keep hearing that Manning is banged up. But as Belichick pointed out the other day, if his name isn't on the injury report, and by the sacrosanct league rules, we have to assume he's 100%. In any event, he's on the field, unlike Belichick's indispensible QB. So the Dungy apologists are pointing to the rash of injuries along the Colts O-line, their top Running Back and their Pro Bowl Safety as the reason Indy has struggled. As opposed to the Patriots, who are only missing two O-linemen, their top Running Back and Pro Bowl Safety. Plus their No. 2 and No. 3 Running Backs. And did I mention Tom Brady hasn't played? I guess I did.

So it begs the question: If the Patriots were under-.500 with Brady, and the Colts were in first place without Manning, what would the press be saying about the coaching job being done by the Uncriticizable One? What would the Belichick bashers be saying if the shoe were on the other foot?:

The Colts are in first place with Jim Sorgi leading the way. The Patriots are out of the playoff picture with the league MVP taking every snap. Which proves once and for all the point we've been making for eight seasons now. Tony Dungy is the best coach in the NFL, period. This year proves conclusively that Bill Belichick is a fraud, dependent solely on his great QB and incapable of winning in adverse circumstances. His disdain for the press and rampant paranoia have finally taken its toll on his team. Whereas Tony Dungy is more than a football coach; he's an historic leader. Barack ODungy. This season has demonstrated there is nothing beyond his abilities. He's won games. He's inspired millions. He's cured all known diseases. With a swipe of his finger he can produce a rainbow. Earlier in the year he flew a winged horse to New Orleans and used his magic to save the city from Hurrican Gustav. Every morning he goes to his window and blue birds place garlands of flowers in his hair. The sound of his voice makes Al Qaeda terrorists lay down their weapons and say the Pledge of Allegiance. None of us are worthy of speaking his name. Belichick is Satan and should be fired now.

Actually, I may have just written Ron Borges Sunday game preview column for him. Not that he'd ever plagarize...

SEOUL (Reuters) - South Korea's highest court upheld Thursday a decades-old adultery law that can send people to jail for having an extramarital affair that critics say is anachronistic and infringes on personal freedom.  The fourth appeal made to the Constitutional Court since 1989 was brought by the lawyers for a popular actress who was charged under the law when her TV personality husband filed a criminal complaint against her for having an affair with an opera singer. "The legal clause does limit an individual's right to sexual freedom and the right to privacy, but does not violate the principle of forbidding excessive measure," the court said in an opinion overturning the appeal.  "This society's legal perception that adultery is damaging to the social order and infringes on another's right continues to be effective," the court said.

Talk about intolerance? This ruling makes Saudi Arabia look like Harvard Square. I mean how is South Korea ever going to be taken seriously by the West if they keep locking up people who commit adultery.  Adultery?  Really?  What is that, like the 9th Commandment?  Even Jesus knew cheating on your spouse wasn’t that big of a deal. Bottom line is this puts South Korea one step closer to joining forces with North Korea and forming a new mega-country future historians will probably call "Korea". And I wouldn't want to mess with them.

Oh man I miss old time wrestling. "Your mustache is crooked!"

Happy Halloween from the Macho Man! And don't forget we have our 4th Annual Wicked Halloween Party Tonight At Jose Mac's. Should be fun!!!!

Ken Macha has been hired by the Brewers to be their new head coach. So the question automatically becomes how will NESN survive? Sure they just signed Cole Trickle, but nobody can replace the human narcolepsy machine. Cat naps throughout New England just suffered a major blow.

Somebody sent me this chick's photobucket album saying she was in my wheelhouse. Umm, yes she it. Free hat to whoever tells me this lovely ladies name.

Click here for more pics of this no name chick who takes awesome pictures of herself.