Random Thoughts

Introducing Sweatpants Ass from somewhere in MA. I felt like blocking out her face is a nice compromise for everybody involved.

As a reminder tonight is the last night to nominate somebody for the Halloween Brackets which will be unveiled tomorrow at high noon. Winner gets 750 bucks. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more pics of sweatpants ass

So earlier today I put out a red alert that I wanted to find “sweatpants ass” from the Caitlin Davis photos that has taken the country by storm.  Well the Stoolies once again proved that they are one of the most powerful underground organizations in the world as within minutes I had her name, pictures, facebook and bank account.   Well not the bank account.   But a funny thing happened on the way to me making this girl famous.   I started feeling bad for her.    So before I unveiled her identity to the world, I sent her a facebook message asking if she was cool with it even though technically I don’t need her permission.  But before I heard back (still haven’t) one of the guys who sent me the pictures relayed to me that she didn’t want any more pics of her going up on the Internet.    So here I am being a little pussy not posting the pictures of her because I feel bad.   In other words, I’m basically begging for a more powerful and ruthless blog to invade me.   I even think Jerry is looking at me a little strange now like I'm weak and ripe for the taking or something. Seriously this must be how Canada feels.   But I just can’t get over the fact this girl didn’t do anything to deserve the unwanted attention.  It would be one thing if she was a cheerleader or something but she’s just a civilian who got caught up in a big story.  So my question is what would you do in this situation?  Say fuck it and post the pictures or be a little pussy like I am.

Vote 1 for Pres is Pussy and 10 for we have a kind, generous, benevolent and handsome leader

So yesterday somebody sent me a link to an old surfer dude interview (posted below) that I’ve seen a billion times before. But thank god this guy sent it to me because in the related videos section was the "I like Turtles" video. I literally spit out my coffee when I watched this and I wasn’t even drinking coffee. This may be my favorite youtube of all time. But I’m beyond baffled how I’d never seen it before because according to it’s stats, it’s one of the most popular videos in the history of the Internet. I would have bet my life I’d seen all the classics, but I guess not. I must have been on vacation or something when this popped. My only regret is that I didn’t see this a few weeks ago so I could have dressed as this kid for Halloween. Oh well, I guess there is always next year. I’m curious whether I'm the only person on earth who has never seen this before?

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) -- Under the watchful eye of law enforcement in 40 states, Craigslist pledged Thursday to crack down on ads for prostitution on its Web sites. As part of Craigslist's agreement with attorneys general around the country, anyone who posts an "erotic services" ad will be required to provide a working phone number and pay a fee with a valid credit card. The Web site will provide that information to law enforcement if subpoenaed. Craigslist has also agreed to sue 14 software and Internet companies that help people who post erotic service ads to circumvent the Web site's defenses against inappropriate content and illegal activity.

Well first they take away my right to waste away meaninglessly at a dog track, now I can’t even get a hooker online.  I mean the Craigslist Founding Fathers would be rolling in their graves if they saw this.   From what I learned in school, the whole reason for starting Craigslist was so that people didn’t have to roam the seedy streets at night whistling the saxophone intro to “You Belong to the City” and searching for a prostitute, any prostitute who would bang them.  Instead it was just a small prayer and a click of a mouse away.  This is just another blow (no pun intended) to the degenerate community.  Once again, like the dog track issue, they were just too lazy to speak up, when no one would speak up for them.

Do people watch that show Intervention? The First Lady fucking loves it. Anyway they should blow this picture up and hang it in the room where they do the interventions. I mean you take one look Kate Moss's crack legs and you'll be sprinting onto the plane.

Kudos to Superficial for the catch

RAMSEY, Minn. (AP) _ When their children returned from Halloween trick-or-treating, a couple found suspected methamphetamine and $85 in cash among their 7-year-old son's Snickers bars and Skittles. Lars and Shelly Brosdahl called police, who confirmed that the substance was methamphetamine, worth up to $200 on the street. Someone who looked like a teenager dropped something into their son's bag as he went trick-or-treating with his 9-year-old sister on Halloween night, the Brosdahls say... "The (kids) could have OD'd on it. That's what makes me so shaky and upset," Shelly Brosdahl said.

Lord, I have had it up to here with the over protective parents worrying the fun right out of Halloween. "Stay with your father and me. Wear a glow stick. Cover your costume in reflective tape. No candy out of bags. People put razor blades in apples. You can't eat any until we've inspected it. My kid got crystal meth in his bag so I'm shaky and upset..." What a nation of wussies we're raising. What's the point of even having Halloween if you're going to be so uptight about it? You're not celebrating the holiday, you're just observing. Might as well stay home. Maybe I'm just old, but when I was a kid, my parents didn't hover over me all night. And if I got a bag of methamphetamines with a street value of over 200 bucks and $85 in cash, well we considered ourselves lucky. We were raised to be grateful to what we had, and we sure turned out OK.

Click here for the answer

I got to be honest. I wanted to hate the shit out of these Hologram interviews because I hate all new technology, but they kind of grew on me during the course of the night. Granted I'm not sure what the point is besides being cool, but that's good enough for me. Now if they could only figure out how to interview dead people with these things, then they'd really have something.

Okay enough talking about Caitlin Davis. It's time to move on to the girl who is just dominating the shit out of those sweatpants. She didn't think she could get away with posing like that and not having us send out a search party for her did she? I demand to know who she is and why she hasn't been a smokeshow yet. It's time for the Stoolies to go to work. I want this girl's name and more pictures of her by the end of the day! If that means the Superfans have to start going door to door than so be it. It's time to find out how good the Stoolie network really is. Free Barstool Hat to the first person who delivers the goods.

I swear to god I almost jerked off during this commerical. Just awesome. Great job by NBA TV. I literally can't wait until we demolish the Lakers again in the Finals this year.

NEWTON (WBZ) ― A man is accused of stealing a diamond ring worth over $100,000 from a jewelry store in the Chestnut Hill Mall earlier this week.  According to police, the suspect entered the Shreve Crump & Low on Sunday and asked to see a diamond ring. When the clerk handed the ring over, the man ran out of the store and into the mall parking lot where he drove off in a green Jeep. The ring, police said, is valued at $110,000.

That’s it?   That’s all you got to do to rob a jewelry store nowadays?  No digging tunnels into the safe?  No guns?   No taking hostages?    You just walk in and ask to look at a 100K ring and then book it out of there?   That seems pretty fucking simple.   I mean here I am like an idiot trying to grind away with this dumb ass blog and I could be knocking off jewelry stores like it’s going out of style.   Because I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I’m pretty sure even I could pull off the old “Can I look at that ring and run” move.   I wonder if Costanza gave the security guard a chair or something?

PS – I haven’t ruled out that the guy in the picture is Manzo.    It kind of looks like him and he did go rogue at the end of last week and hasn’t blogged in forever.   Maybe he found a new way to supplement his income.

TMZ.com - The ex-New England Patriots cheerleader kicked off the squad for her role in a penis-happy, swastika infested photo scandal is finally talking -- and she's blaming the whole thing on bad judgment .... a really bad Halloween costume. In a statement to TMZ, 18-year-old Caitlin Davis refuses to take responsibility for the offensive images drawn on a drunk guy who passed out at a party, because, "The kid in the picture was a 'drunk guy who passed out and was written on,' as his costume for the night."  It all went down in a dorm at Boston College. Caitlin claims, "Me and my girls left the dorm and went to another house and came back to the kid passed out on the futon we were suppose to sleep on. The guys ended up drawing more on him due to the fact that he was the first one to pass out on Halloween night ... At the time I had jumped in the picture with the kid, I didn't realize what had been drawn on him, which I take responsibility for not being alert." She adds, "Me and my girlfirends [sic] took pictures with him because we found it humorous how badly he was drawn on." More proof the Patriots are falling apart without Tom Brady.

This post makes me sad and angry all at once.   Why the fuck is Caitlin Davis talking to TMZ and not Barstool Sports?  I mean she’s a former Smokeshow for god sakes.  We discovered her not them.  But I guess I have nobody to blame but myself right?  TMZ probably called her for a statement while I sat on my ass eating pizza, getting fat and looking for today’s guess that ass contestant.  Well shame on me.  Listen if I want to take Barstool Sports to the next level in smut I’ve got to be all over shit like this from now on.   No more beating off 4 times a day, and watching TVG from dawn to dusk.  This story just lit a fire under my ass.  It’s a new day at the Stool.   From now on we’re going to be like the Jim Gray of Smut.  We’re going to be chasing down stories that don’t even exist.  Mark my words, I’ll never miss getting the inside story on a cheerleader drawing cocks on somebody’s face again.

PS - Caitlin's defense seems shaky at best. I mean it's kind of tough to buy the "I didn't draw on him" argument when the 2nd picture basically shows her holding a marker and going Picasso on his ass.

Name: Charlotte Ross

Claim to Fame: Nude on NYPD Blue (below)

Best Asset: Tits

More of Charlotte here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com